I’m a Black mother of three living with schizophrenia in America. Life for me was difficult growing up & I didn’t take good care of myself. I suffered from abuse as a child, I was reckless as a teenager, and I was diagnosed with mental health challenges as an adult. All of the obstacles I had to endure caused me to go into a deep depression resulting in multiple suicide attempts.

When I would watch television and movies, I never saw images of black women overcoming mental illness while maintaining family, business, and self-care.

I researched online for articles and blogs on courageous women with schizophrenia accomplishing great things. Women with the types of flaws I had, just trying to survive in a world that hates anything that’s not perfect. Women who used their lived experience as a resource to others. My results were very few.

Because of the lack of representation, I found myself becoming more ashamed of my illness & my condition. I eventually hid from the public while suffering from regret and self-loathing.



Eventually, I opened my eyes after, yet another suicide attempt.

I found what God was trying to tell me this whole time. Despite my flaws, I was gifted.

God showed me that my purpose and my fate wasn’t in the hands of those around me, but in His and in mine.

I learned that I can’t live for the acceptance of others and life is not perfect regardless of how much you try to make it so. I realized that self-care should be a priority because I’m needed by my loved ones and my community. If I fail to tend to myself fully, I would be no use to anyone else anyway.

With all the depression and damage I was causing to myself, I know first-hand how dark and lonely depression can get. I decided to dedicate my life to helping others overcome their challenges because mental illness can be a lonely situation.

Through creative outlets like thrifting, makeup, modeling, and blogging I get to express myself and show others frugal ways live a Flawesome diva lifestyle on a  budget.


I wasted too many years of my life being afraid to fail, afraid of judgment, and afraid to live a full life with schizophrenia. Now, I realize the precious time I’ve been given and I want to make the most it by being positive, finding creative outlets, managing my self-care, and most of all being who I truly am – flaws and all.

I offer lifestyle content aimed to give you creative DIY strategies to balance work, life, and mental health.

I'esha GaptoothDiva

Subscribe for

  • weekly tips on managing your self-care & beauty
  • strategies for developing a lucrative business and lifestyle that doesn’t negatively impact your mental health
  • Answers to common mental health and social relationships questions
  • Style hauls & product reviews
  • & Personal vlog of my own lived experience and how I maintain my mental wellness



The road to mental health recovery isn’t easy at all, but with the help of someone who understands the struggle you can feel free from anxiety and supported in your journey.

I really want to help you, so I have to be honest. My advice may be unconventional, but I’m promising you real information that’s designed to get you through this thing called life because we all deserve to live it to its fullest & be as awesome as God intended.

That’s what I call a Flawesome lifestyle.

Contact me with your questions or to connect. Complete the form below to get in touch with me.