3 BEST MENTAL HEALTH ADVOCACY TIPS THAT WILL CHANGE YOUR LIFE

3 BEST MENTAL HEALTH ADVOCACY TIPS THAT WILL CHANGE YOUR LIFE

Being an advocate means fighting for something bigger than yourself for someone who shouldn’t have to fight alone. When it comes to mental health advocacy, I’m all about voicing your concerns in a productive and strategic way that lends authenticity and compassion to others.

In this post, I’ll talk about the 3 Best Mental Health Advocacy Tips that will transform your life and the lives of those impacted by various types of mental health problems.

As a self-advocate, I learned that my experiences and struggles can be overcome and transformed into a lesson for those still within the challenge, themselves. By using my life as a model for mental health recovery, I shed light on stigmas associated with mental health. I also highlight ways to live despite the challenges that I face daily.

I had the pleasure of putting myself in that role recently, and it was a remarkable experience. Advocating with thousands of others for a cause that affects me and my loved ones, changed the way I view advocacy. It’s not just talking about mental health, but vigorously promoting change and compassion for the community.

Below, you’ll find 3 Mental Health Advocacy tips that will benefit you in your journey to advocacy, change-making, and positive growth.

MENTAL HEALTH ADVOCATE TIP #1

TALK ABOUT IT:

I have mental health issues and I have major depression. Point Blank. I’m no longer ashamed of discussing it or putting it out in the open. I’ve learned that what I’m dealing with (mental illness) is not me, but just a circumstance that I’m in.

So discussing the topic with friends and family who inquire has become easier for me. I take the time to answer questions about being a mental health advocate. I answer questions about the symptoms of mental illness and how they differ for everyone. I also provide resources for those seeking therapy for depression or getting help for depression.

As an advocate, it’s my responsibility to encourage those in need to seek mental health programs in their locality. By providing positive mental health promotion, I help end the stigma associated with mental health and mood disorders.

MENTAL HEALTH ADVOCATE TIP #2

FIGHT THE POWER:

By educating yourself on mental health reform, mental health care policy (Mental Health Care Act, and mental health issues regarding discrimination, legislation, you can make a huge impact on your community.

Volunteer to help others after they’ve been discharged from mental health treatment centers. You can support others by helping them find mental health assessment tools, online mental health services, and alternative treatments for depression.

You can be the one to advocate therapy for mental health challenges and depression. Encouraging someone new to the community that the road to depression recovery or mental health recovery, doesn’t have to be a long lonely one.

MENTAL HEALTH ADVOCATE TIP #3

PLAN TO SUCCEED:

I’m not a certified mental health counselor, but I’m willing to sit down with those needing a listening ear. Most of the time, that’s all people want, someone to hear them out.

Inpatient mental health treatment has its advantages, but what happens when you are discharged? Develop a plan to succeed and grow from mental illness to mental wellness.

Try not to allow the stress of depression impact you negatively to the point that you isolate yourself from the rest of the world, with fear. Depression stress is the worst kind, keeping you from being productive on your road to mental health recovery.

Self-Advocacy is about setting a game-plan for yourself to avoid having to return to the hospital. It is with your customized mental health recovery model that you can gain perspective on how you can defeat mental illness, the stigmas that come with it, and come out on the other side thriving.

MY EXPERIENCE ON MENTAL HEALTH ADVOCACY DAY IN RICHMOND, VIRGINIA 2017

Overall, advocacy is all about making positive change for yourself and others like you. You can learn the system, then put what you learn to use. By educating others on the things you know, you pass that information to those that really need.

By writing letters, attending legislative meetings, voting, and keeping your ear to the wire to learn policy changes and news, you set yourself to be an incredible advocate for mental health.

Tell me how you advocate for mental health. If you have other ideas to advocate, please leave a comment below and share!

#DEARME THE MOST INSPIRING LETTER TO MY YOUNGER SELF

There are very few things we talk about when it comes to mental illness. As a Black woman dealing with mental illness, it’s easy to feel alone and isolated from the rest of the world. Even though I’ve grown to realize that I’m not the only one striving to overcome depression and mental illness, it’s hard to find other women willing to open themselves up to speaking about it openly. When I was younger, I felt very alone.

 

DEALING WITH MENTAL ILLNESS AS A BLACK WOMAN

Growing up, I was meant to feel ashamed of my struggle with mental illness. “Black girls don’t commit suicide”, “You better pray about it and keep it moving”, “Once you get your life together, it will all just go away”, were all lies I was fed to keep me from seeking therapy and get back to the business of living. Despite all of my accomplishments in life, depression and mental illness were always lurking in the background, putting a pause button on my ambition, my potential, and my purpose.

Educated, beautiful, creative, and driven black women dealing with mental health issues are commonplace nowadays, yet you rarely see any strong black women wearing that title… Depressed. I’ve never met a successful black woman say, “Yes, I have borderline personality disorder and major depression.” At some point, you start to believe this is a flaw, a flaw that I must either cover-up or fix ASAP. Until this issue of mental illness is fixed, I have to try to do as much as can without drawing too much attention to myself.

 

However, there are those times when I can’t take it. My anxiety and depression take a hold of me so hard and fast, that without realizing it, I’ve tried to kill myself. Without realizing it, I’ve gone weeks without eating, sleeping, or getting out of bed. I get so afraid of people seeing me at my worst, that I opt to just not be seen at all. I get so afraid of others knowing that I’m depressed that I ostracize the very people who I love and care about, to keep them from my negative and depressing line of fire.

If I knew back then what I know now, I would have done things differently. My mental health issues aren’t something that I should be ashamed of. Although I would prefer to live a life with no depression or mental illness, these were the cards I was dealt. It doesn’t mean I have to give up on myself, my dreams, and everyone/everything that I love. Having a mental illness isn’t a death sentence or a sign that tells people that I’m not worth it.

 

If I could reach back to my younger self, the girl who thought it was just a phase that she could cover up with drugs, cutting, and being destructive, I would tell her the truth. If I could tell her what’s in my heart, I would say…

#DEARME THE MOST INSPIRING LETTER TO MY YOUNGER SELF:

Dear I’esha,

You probably don’t know this yet, but you are amazing. You are a black woman overcoming and dealing with depression and mental illness. Through all the obstacles that you’ve gone through, you still manage to find a way to live your dream, to find love, and to raise children.

Many women aren’t going to mention this, but dealing with mental illness can be discouraging. Because of this, there will be times will you try to give up. There are going to be moments in your life they get so dark and so sad that you will hurt yourself. You will be destructive. You will be sad. That will cause you to push a lot of loving people away.

You won’t understand why you’re depressed. You won’t know what triggers your depression. After a while, you’re going to accept the fact that sometimes you get sad. I want you to know that because of the environment that you were raised in and because of some of the situations that happened to you as a child, you will develop a mindset that isn’t exactly positive.

 

You will do things, say things, and believe things that aren’t true, to survive you will sometimes get so sad and so numb to the world that you cut yourself to feel. You will get so sad and so afraid to be alone that you overdose just to go to sleep. This will happen so often, that you have to make a change.

One day, you will find love and you will find God, but neither one seems to soothe your pain. Eventually, you’ll give up. You try to kill yourself again. I want you to know that you don’t have to. Even though you’re talented, even though you’re beautiful, and you have a good heart and positive intentions, you’re going to fail at this one thing in life… killing yourself. You’re going to fail at killing yourself and that’s going to be the greatest thing that ever happens to you. You’re going to fail at ending your own life and this will make a difference for so much more than just yourself.

I want you to know that when that moment happens, you are going to find out what was wrong with you the entire time. When that moment happens you are going to discover your purpose. You are going to realize that all that pain, suffering, and hurt was not for nothing.

I’esha, I want you to really stop and listen to me. Don’t be hard-headed this time. You can stop all of this right now, by just stopping, reading, and learning about your mental illness. Don’t listen to anyone that says black girls aren’t depressed.

 

It’s time for you to research, why is it that one in ten people report clinical depression, however, those suffering in the black community are the least likely to report any mental health issues such as mental illness or depression? It’s time for you to step up and be a voice for those women who are struggling.

You will understand as you get older, that there are plenty of women that are going through mental health issues and depression. Black women in your community, who are raising families and starting businesses, who are all suffering in silence. Because for some reason in our community, it’s better to rely on church and the religious community. It’s better to believe that we can pray our blues away then to invest in the cost of therapy. We actually do have a mistrust for the medical community and those of authority. We have a long history of unethical medical testing on black people.

You can still find help by reaching out to someone who you care about for options that can help black women with mental illness survive in a world that perpetuates the idea that needing therapy is a sign of weakness.

I want you to understand that you are going to have a big responsibility on your hands once you get past your own confidence issues, once you get past your own traumatic childhood, and once you get past the abuse that you’ve suffered. You have the responsibility to be an advocate for those that are suffering. You will have the responsibility to be a support for those who are dealing with mental illness and those who are dealing with depression.

You can help those that don’t know where to turn for help and support. You can help those needing a non-judgmental friend. You one day realize, that without even trying, you will become a walking/talking example of a black woman dealing with mental illness and trying to survive.

 

I want you to be open to the uncomfortable questions, open to the adversity, and open to people judging you. You are strong and can handle whatever life throws at you. You are a black woman dealing with a mental illness but you are not alone.

There is treatment and although this is something that you may be dealing with for the rest of your life, with therapy, medication, exercise, and transparency; talking about your issues will help you get out of it. You are not by yourself and there are plenty of options available to you. You are no longer held hostage by your feelings and emotions. You recognize your triggers and you understand that the things that you went through growing up during your childhood have forced you into dealing with that post-traumatic stress as an adult.

You have to love yourself. You have to set an example for those people who are struggling to love themselves. Flaws and all, you are amazing. You don’t have to suffer alone. There is nothing to be ashamed of when it comes to mental illness. There is nothing to be ashamed of when it comes to depression. If you rely on the people who you love and that care about you, you will have all the support you need to successfully get through life without committing suicide.

Turning to hurt yourself, to self-harm, and to suicide is not the answer. For you to survive this, you are going to have to rely on faith. You have to be intentional about getting better and you constantly have to fight every day to avoid depression. You have the fight all the triggers that put you in that dark space in your own mind. You are going to have to fight for the happiness that you desire out of life, the happiness that you deserve.

[spp-tweet tweet=”Just because you have depression and mental illness, that does not take away your value.”]

 

You still are a phenomenal woman, capable of so many things. If you can put faith and work together, you can accomplish it all.

Your family, your children, and your friends are all depending on you. However, it’s time for you to start depending on yourself.

That’s right, again I say, you have to depend on yourself. When you get to the point that you’re incapable of maintaining your daily activities, that you’re no longer participating in activities that you love, it’s time for you to depend on yourself. Depend on yourself to take care of your mental health. Depend on yourself to seek mental health treatment. Depend on yourself to understand that you can still take care of your mental health and take care of your family. You can tend to your mental illness and your business at the same time.

It’s time for us to change the public’s perception of black women with mental illness. We cannot change everyone, but through our actions I’esha, our mental health will be key to our survival and success in life. We need to be proactive and find multiple ways to treat our mental illness. As you’re learning about your mental illness and how to survive with it, I want you to understand that your biggest responsibility will be in educating those that look to you for support and inspiration.

You will lead a life that shows people through your actions and your words, that a young black mother and wife can have a mental illness and still be a productive individual in a society. There’s no point pretending anymore that everything is perfect because when you pretend like everything is OK, life reveals exactly what’s not.

In your efforts to cover up what you believe to be a mark against you and a flaw, you and your mental illness suffer more. To shift attitudes about mental illness, we have to first accept it for ourselves.

Surround yourself with people who are supportive and positive. Get involved in activities that support your skills and talents. Get involved in activities that distract you from those triggers that keep you depressed. Find good health care providers, take your medication and come up with a strategic plan in order to avoid those manic-depressive episodes.

Never feel ashamed for what you’ve gone through because it is the fact that you made it and that you survived that means the most. You did not die those times that you tried to kill yourself because you were meant for something greater. You are not a martyr for those that committed suicide but a voice for those that want to.

You can be the one to promote just how much life is worth living through your actions, your smile, your blessings, and your joy. I want you to focus on helping those that are struggling. I want you to focus on being there for those who feel alone. Unlike so many others out there, you of all people understand what it’s like to suffer inside while smiling on the outside. You know firsthand, all of the traumatic experiences you endured, weren’t in vain.

You went through all of that for a reason and that reason is to shift the public’s attitude about mental health and mental illness in Black women. You’re not someone who is struggling. You are someone who is surviving. This will not break you if you do not allow it to. It will make you stronger but it’s up to you to take responsibility for your own mental health. It’s up to you to not live with shame.

 

Are you up for the task of being a voice for those people who are too afraid to use theirs? Are you up for the task of being around people even though sometimes you don’t want to? Do you want to take the time out to focus on your mental wellness and engage in activities and with people who are going to help boost your mood and your attitude? Aren’t you tired of hurting yourself and being frustrated at a life that you’ve just now realized, you have complete control over?

There’s no reason for you to suffer in silence. There is no reason why so many women out there have to believe that they’re suffering alone. If you speak up about mental illness, if you speak up about being a black woman with depression, you’ll be helping so many other people.

You are not by yourself. You don’t have to suffer in silence or suffer alone. It’s OK to seek professional help. There is absolutely nothing to be ashamed of. Although you will continue to pray and depend on God for guidance, He also says faith with no work is dead.

At what point are you going to put in the work? At this point in our lives, we have to understand that there is so much we are capable of doing and so much that we can change right now. If we just admit our shortcomings and our weaknesses, we can make a difference.

I’esha, your biggest weakness is the fact that you did not want to admit that you suffer from a mental illness. At the moment that you accept that, you will then find your purpose. Let people know that they’re not the only ones going through depression. Let people know the truth of how it is to struggle with depression and mental illness while maintaining the household, running a business, and having a social life, all at the same time. Through your transparency and your honesty, you will help so many people. What is life all about? Life is about being there for those who don’t have anyone else and sharing your experiences. You will discover joy in your life, by bringing hope to others.

Love yourself always,

I’esha “GaptoothDiva” Hornes

SEEK HELP

If you’re feeling overwhelmed and suicidal, there are options. First, find a mental health professional that you can trust. Start a mental health treatment program that is right for you.

More information on Black Women and Mental Health:  http://www.blackwomenshealth.com/blog/black-women-and-mental-health/

Mental Illness Awareness Week 2016 – http://www.mentalhealthamerica.net/MIAW

National Alliance on Mental Illness – http://www.nami.org/

But if it’s an emergency situation, call the National Suicide Prevention Hotline, Open 24 hours a day and 7 days a week at 1 (800) 273-8255.

Together we can make a difference when it comes to the stigma attached to mental illness within the Black community. For those out there that are suffering, please know that you are not alone.

xoxo

7 Best Reasons Why Parents Should Join the PTA This Year [Infographic included]

Back to school is in full effect, because Yassss… It’s finally September! Everyone is coming back from summer vacation and preparing to toss (literally) our children right back into the classroom. It’s a busy and exciting time of the year as families prepare themselves with strategies to rearrange their schedules. This year, I wanted to share something very important that parents should be considering that will not only aid in preparing for the new school year, but it will also benefit the community, the children, and other families as well.

I’m talking about joining the PTA (or PTO) in your child’s school. PTA stands for, Parent-Teacher Association. This is a group of responsibly dedicated parents that have chosen to volunteer their time, skills, resources, and knowledge in an effort to support other parents, school staff, and the children of your child’s school.

7 Best Reasons Why Parents Should Join the PTA This Year

When you join the PTA, you play an important part in ensuring that the school’s policies and information are conveyed to others parents in a comprehensible/relatable way. It’s honestly hard as a working mother to stay on top of all the information the school dishes out almost daily.  It’s not easy remembering events and important dates, and even connecting with like-minded parents. We often get so wrapped up in our personal lives and our desire to stay on top, that many parents leave it completely on the school to parent, educate, and cultivate talents in our children for a full day. Many parents don’t have time to keep track of the massive amounts of documents being sent home in your child’s book bag. There are parents who don’t understand what’s going, forcing them to just go through the motions until June peaks its head.

As a member of the PTA, you have the ability to make it easier for those parents. You are given the knowledge, tools, and resources to be a liaison for parents who aren’t connected to the administration. You can build positive and supportive relationships with other parents, who get it. By joining the PTA, you are given access to a community of individuals who share the same desire to see that their children have an awesome school year. You play a role in helping other families by participating in activities that will help them grow and build relationships as well.

I joined the PTA with that same intention. I know how difficult it is to get through a school year, not knowing what is going on or finding out things at the last minute. I got frustrated with not having questions answered and feeling like a no one truly cared about the children having a fruitful experience. I strongly wanted to be a part of a community of parents who cared and an administration that valued the relationships with parents and students, and not settling by just “doing their job”. By joining the PTA, I wanted to use my skills and knowledge to play a part in making a change and support something phenomenal. We all have to give back in some way, why wouldn’t I choose to give back to the place that I leave my most valuable possession every day, my son’s school?

If you think that the PTA is not for you, what are your reasons? You may have something up your sleeve to answer that question, but bear with me. Do you not have an hour or two of available time once a month to talk about ways to improve your child’s school? If we can watch reality television or make it to the happy hour special religiously, I find that hard to believe. Do you realize that you won’t be alone? There are many parents who are making the time sacrifices needed to build relationships with other parents who share the same goals. The work isn’t hard, it just needs to get done. It’s a rewarding experience knowing that you are assisting in bringing not only your child, but everyone else’s children, a gift of your talents and services to make their school year even better. What else do you need?

PTA work is selfless. It’s about more than just you and yours. PTA is an opportunity for parents to play a role in supporting the school that teaches their child, the teacher that comes into contact with your seed, and the children and families that your child interacts with daily. Whatever you can offer or provide, can transform the school year experience for so many people that you probably won’t even meet. That’s a small task with a huge impact. As someone who always wants to make a positive impact, that’s all I needed to hear.

I wanted to share with you the 7 Best Reasons Why Parents Should Join the PTA This Year. It’s important that parents know how important their participation in the PTA is to their child’s success and the success of the entire school and community. If you can muster up the energy to be that solid supporter of the community, I know you won’t be disappointed.

Check out these 7 Reasons Why You Should Join the PTA and the conflicts associated with them. If I haven’t convinced you, let me know why or why not. I would love to hear from you.

7 Best Reasons Why Parents Should Join the PTA This Year

Use Your Voice. 

PTA can be a great way for you to effectively suggest change at your child’s school and in the community.

Some of you believe that you aren’t qualified or educated enough to speak up. You sit on the thought that past experiences or lack thereof, limits your ability to use your voice to make a difference. That is a complete lie! Our child goes to the school, your tax money pays for what’s there. You need to recognize your power and use it, even if it’s just making suggestions or reporting what you don’t like. It’s your voice, use it!

Get Great Resources For The Family.

The school system offers a variety of programs designed for students, as well as their parents.

Do you believe that you have no say in what your children do in the school? Are you just waiting on someone to come up with the program that you’ve been waiting for, so that you can get your child involved? PTA members help develop resources and programs for the school, that are valuable to all families. The PTA is one of the first to know about resources available and how to get that information out to the community. As a PTA member, you are responsible in making sure that other parents are privy to important updates and information that was specifically intended to aid and assist families in so many ways.

Be a Role Model.

By becoming a PTA member, you’ll be demonstrating to your child the importance you place on education and how you can effectively work with a team to make a difference. Your responsibilities in the school’s PTA, will be an awesome way to incorporate your child and his/her friends, making it a community effort.

Being a parent is a lot of work, but it’s not enough. Your kids deserve to see how their parent can collaborate with others, use their skills to change their circumstances, and give selflessly to their community. By joining the PTA, you are instilling valuable lessons into your child without interacting with them at all. You are teaching by example, showing that you are willing and able to be a leader for someone else outside of them.

Know What’s Happening.

Be one of the first to know what’s happening in your child’s school, then join the organization that helps create events and projects.

Test your creative and organizational skills by coming up with educational, purposeful, and morale building events for the school and the students. You know first-hand what your children and their friends love and how school makes them feel. By supporting the PTA efforts, you can make sure that everyone is pleased (school administration, teachers, students, and other parents). You play an important role in developing activities and projects that has the potential to get everyone connected. Who wouldn’t want that?

Connect with other Parents.

PTA events and projects are opportunities to meet other parents and teachers, building relationships by discussing issues that are on your mind.

Like I said, Parenting isn’t easy. It makes sense to want to connect with other parents in the community, who know and understand what you are going through. By building relationships with other parents, you gain insight on how easy it is to solve many of the challenges you probably face working, raising children, and being an adult. There are many different types of people, from various backgrounds that can teach you something, one way or another. The PTA is a small community within a community, of parents who all want the best for their children inside and outside the classroom.

Use Your Skills to Help.

By volunteering with your PTA, you put your skills and hobbies to use for a great cause. You get to put your gifts to use by helping your child and all children in the community.

We all have something special about us. Whether you are a digital content creator with awesome design and conceptualization skills (like myself, LOL) or you are extremely organized, patient and kind person, we all have our talents and gifts that make us special. Bringing that knowledge and those skills to the PTA, you provide an invaluable asset to your community. There are entrepreneurs, activist, and incredible parents among us that can impact the school and community, by simply sharing those skills. Our children are important parts of our lives, and I know that if I can use my skills to put food on the table; using my skills to make his school year awesome is nothing. PTA members contribute something huge to the efforts of the school, in return it’s great knowing that it is helping my child and every child that walks through the door, the teachers, and the school… which then comes back to my child. It’s a win – win!

Access to Exclusive Offers. 

Individuals and local units can take advantage of a host of benefits from PTA membership including discounts and offers from member benefits providers and sponsors, magazine subscriptions, leadership training, e-newsletters and much more.

If you knew you could get discounts, deals, and exclusive offers by joining the PTA in the beginning of this post, you probably would have signed up already. LOL

The PTA partners with area businesses and programs to offer exclusive opportunities for families, kids, and the community. By being a part of the winning team, yes I said that, you gain access that you probably wouldn’t have had, if you weren’t a member. There are perks! Enough said.

7 Best Reasons Why Parents Should Join the PTA This Year

So if you haven’t signed up for your local PTA chapter yet, what are you waiting for? If the PTA at your child’s school isn’t up and running yet or not on par, be that parent that turns it all around. The PTA isn’t for weak individuals who are insecure with their parenting skills or themselves, but it can definitely be helpful to parents like that. Why not be the leader and step up to the plate? If you have the skills, meaning you are an able-bodied individual and still breathing, then sign up. If you see changes that need to be made or you want to further support the efforts that have been going well, sign up. Your child’s school could use more hard-working, committed, and sincere parents to help make every child’s school year the best it can be. You are just the parent for the job.

To be corny and because I wanted to say this, this entire time…

“Ask not what your child’s school can do for you, but what you can do for your child’s school”

Tweet: “Ask not what your child’s school can do for you, but what you can do for your child’s school”

LOL, now that I got that out of my system… let the school year begin!

GTD Lip Logo (clear Background)

Happy new School Year Moms and Dads!

For more information, check out The National PTA website at http://www.pta.org/

Do You Agree that Art Has Always Made Man?

Art has always been an important part of the human experience. Ever since the first cave drawing, man has been using his creativity to convey his emotions and communicate with his fellow-man. Somehow, mankind has forgotten the importance of art in this modern age. Art classes are being pulled from our schools and music budgets are being cut to minimal proportions. Do You Agree that Art Has Always Made Man?

Luckily, many groups, organizations, and people still remember how important all art is to us and are actively fighting to keep it alive. They do this through awareness events like the Street Pianos in New York event from Sing for Hope or by simply forming petitions and writing their politicians. Any little bit helps, and as long as we all work together, we can save the arts for our kids.

There are great advantages to keeping art classes and activities in our schools and lives. The obvious benefit is fostering a sense of creativity and imagination. Those are the two fundamental ideas behind every invention ever created. In order to think outside the box, you have to be taught it is okay to be different. Without art, our children will be missing out on key critical thinking skills that help in other areas of academics.

Life lessons can also be taught through the arts. A piece of art, no matter what medium, is subjective. Even though the artist created it with a vision and purpose, you and I may see it differently and have different reactions. This subjectivity helps children and adults learn about other perspectives. With the world shrinking day by day, being able to understand other cultures and see things from someone else’s perspective will be an integral part of everyday life.
In its simplest definition, art is expression. Teaching children to express feelings through art will help them become better communicators and give them another outlet for negative feelings. Everyone has bad days and just needs to cool off or vent. A great way to do this is through art. Taking away this release is only harming our children.

Let’s work together to give our children, and ourselves, a better future. The future without art is bleak and dark. Art brightens up that future and opens it up for the leaders of tomorrow.

I totally believe that art plays a huge role in my life, and the lives of those I care about. I wouldn’t be the person I am today, if it wasn’t for loving art, creating art, and aspiring to be an artist in all facets of what I do.

GTD Lip Logo (clear Background)

Do You Agree that Art Has Always Made Man?

4 important Things I want to Do and Experience at the Blogalicious Conference #BYOE15

4 important Things I want Do & Experience at the Blogalicious Conference #BYOE15 by gaptoothdiva.com

 

I’m so excited about Blogalicious weekend, coming September 10th through September 12th in Baltimore Maryland. This huge conference is dedicated to connecting and educating digital influencers, bloggers, and content creators from everywhere. This will be my first time attending, only because I was forced to cultivate the courage to apply. I always followed Blogalicious online and often promised myself that one day I would be good enough to attend, but later realized there was no such thing as “good enough” when the main purpose of this conference is to educate members and demonstrate more creative and impactful way to make better content and improve your digital influence.

The Blogalicious mission is…

“To grow a supportive and vibrant community of influencers that celebrates digital diversity.”

http://beblogalicious.com

For as long as I’ve been blogging and working in the digital space, most of the people who I connected to were only online. Where I am, I know there are some amazing bloggers, speakers, digital professionals out there with websites, brands, and insight on digital marketing and influence, but most of the events and meetups for bloggers like me, were either too far away or too expensive of an investment for me at the time.

Other times, when I connected with a blogger, the vibe wasn’t right. I truly enjoy what I do, although my consistency can be an issue. However, my passion is there in a different way than many others. I always come into contact with content creators that obsess over the numbers, the analytics, & the profits, but gloss over the true purpose of why they started in the first place. It’s easy to get wrapped up into that mode, the desire to be the best and outdo any and every one to be on top. I often struggled with finding that group that lies happy in the middle of hustling and happiness.

So from afar, I was networking, connecting, admiring, and learning from awesome individuals who took what they loved and truly made something incredible and profitable for themselves and their families.

When I follow Blogalicious, I see a huge family of people who truly love what they do. I see professionals that understand the potential of what they have, how profitable it can be as a business, but how enjoyable it is to keep striving to improve. They love their content, they are aggressive in ensuring that it reaches the masses, but they also consistently reach out to help others take steps towards that same greatness.

4 important Things I want Do & Experience at the Blogalicious Conference #BYOE15

As I prepare to attend my first conference ever. I look forward to…

Making new friends IRL:

Blogging, freelance writing, and content creation can be a very lonely thing, if you’re like me. No one does what you do within 20 miles of you, nor do they fully understand it. So as excited as you may be to upload that video, finally finish that post, or create the perfect sponsored campaign, sharing in that experience with your non-blogger friends and family, will often leave people with their eyes rolling and looking lost. So I’m excited to meet some friendly passionate bloggers that I can connect, collaborate, and keep in contact with at the conference and after I leave.

Learn Until My Head Explodes:

I want to soak up as much knowledge as I possibly can. I’m not joking. Don’t be surprised if you see my recording video, audio, taking notes, and studying during lunch. It’s not every day that you can pick the brains of experienced and knowledgeable people who you have admired for years, so it’s not the time to be cute and arrogant. I will humbly get my “learn on” with no shame or hesitation. That’s what conference are for, right? Let’s not waste money here.

Giving Back & Sowing Seeds:

I volunteered to work with the Social Squad for Blogalicious, which is a group of new and veteran bloggers who donated a portion of their time to ensure that the conference went smoothly. I’m excited to help out in any way that I can, because it’s another learning opportunity. You can meet more people while assisting in the efforts of the event that you are also attending. I look forward to meeting the individuals that do so much by putting gatherings like this together for people who truly love the business and art of blogging and digital media. There will be some creative people there and with that type of energy, I can’t wait to be a service and use my skills to make it awesome for everyone right along some great bloggers who are equally passionate.

Coming Back Better Than Before:

I can’t imagine going to this conference and not coming back better than when I left. Every time I watch a Periscope, listen to a webinar or most recently check out a Blab, I’m enlightened. These veterans really know their stuff, and they share so much information that I sign up for webinars just to hear them speak passionately about making others bloggers better at what they love. I want to become a better blogger, but more importantly I want to stay motivated. That’s exactly what I expect while attending Blogalicious. Motivation from some of the most profound influencers in the online space, which will propel me from where I am into someone who can truly build her own empire. I look forward to using everything I learn to take me from isolated blogger, to someone building an engaged and interactive community of like-minded individuals. I honestly feel like this is my chance to leap into the next level of what I love so much, so I’m definitely going to be a whole different person when I come back. Watch out!

So overall, if you haven’t realized it yet, I am so hype. I have some packing to do for this trip, because I want to be cute but comfortable. I also checked out Divas and Dorks article: The Best Apps & Gadgets to Pack for Your Next Conference Trip, which was extremely helpful in letting me know what I should not forget. Now my only issue is, I definitely might over pack. The first day of school is that same week, so it’ll be interesting to still be in back-to school shopping mode, PTA mode, all while getting prepared for this conference. Nevertheless, I can’t wait to meet some new faces and learn some new things that I should be doing and some old things I probably should stop. Watching the contributors of Blogalicious and connecting with attendees in our Facebook group has made it easier, so I’m cool.

Look forward to more updates as the conference approaches. If you can, please join me at this year’s Blogalicious conference by registering here. It will be great to connect with other bloggers while learning new ways to improve your business and brand. Hope to see you there!

Go to http://beblogalicious.com/ for more information about Blogalicious, their events, and to join the Blogalicious network.

Follow and Connect with them today!

Blogalicious on Twitter at https://twitter.com/beblogalicious

Blogalicious on Facebook at https://www.facebook.com/BeBlogalicious

Blogalicious on Instagram at http://instagram.com/beblogalicious

 

XOXO,

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Here is a video recap of the pop up meetup Blogalicious did in Maryland for #BYOE15 by Cassandra Vincent 

 

How to Get Breast Discomfort Issues Off of Your Chest #Hugsshouldnthurt

This post is sponsored by Violet iodine, but all opinions expressed in this post are entirely my own.

About a month ago, I wrote about my issues with monthly breast discomforts. PMS is nothing to laugh about when you’re in the thick of it. It’s a struggle dealing with bloating, mood swings, cramping, and of course bleeding. There is still that pesky issue of aching and sore breast that I find hard to overlook.
The article I wrote, The Strange Breast Experience That Will Make You Scream #HugsShouldntHurt about Violetdaily.com , explained how my “time of the month” is plagued with no contact disclosures because my breast would hurt so bad, that I couldn’t handle it.

Violet Iodine daily review by I'esha GaptoothDiva

I started taking the once a day supplements of Violet iodine to help alleviate the discomfort, and bring back the ability to get close and personal without making my these big beautiful girls on my chest cry. I took each pill on an empty stomach first thing in the morning for my severe symptoms. It’s great that the Violet iodine pills aren’t just for the times that you are experiencing symptoms of breast swelling and aching.
They say that when you take a simple pill every day, the result is true relief and reassurance that you’re proactively taking care of your breast. It’s a process. Violet iodine only works if you keep at it – so for maximum symptom relief I had to incorporate this into my daily regimen.

Violet Iodine daily review by I'esha GaptoothDiva

It’s only been a month, and although I’m confident I’m half way to the start of a “new normal”, a life where breast discomfort doesn’t get in the way any longer, I haven’t felt a monumental change as of yet. Nevertheless, my symptoms haven’t been as severe as before, so I feel like it is working. However, I completely understand that more time has to pass for a full recovery from breast aches and pain.
I’m looking forward to finally being free from the issues of uncomfortable and tender breast. To finally be able to hug and hold those I love all month-long, and not just when I’m not on my menstrual cycle will definitely be the welcomed change that I need. Although being a woman requires that you experience the occasional discomfort and pain that Mother Nature has to dish out, I strongly stand behind the fact that #Hugsshouldnthurt
For more information about Violet iodine, check out their official website VioletDaily.com

Violet iodine on social media

Facebook: http://facebook.com/violetdailypill

Twitter: http://twitter.com/violetdailypill

Instagram: http://instagram.com/sayhellotoviolet

Xoxo,

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Thank you Violet iodine and Blogger Babes for this wonderful opportunity. Let me know what you think by tagging #HugsShouldntHurt on Facebook and Twitter.

Treat Yourself Monthly With Jewelry You’ll Absolutely Love + Rocksbox Review

GaptoothDiva Rocksbox Review
I was not compensated for this review. Rocksbox is a jewelry subscription service that I signed up for with the intention of providing this review. By signing up using the code provided I may receive additional discounts and rewards.

I absolutely adore accessories, jewelry, and anything that can take your outfit from basic to bodacious. It’s pretty hard for me to keep up with the large selection of accessories I already have, so going out to purchase more on a regular basis, doesn’t make sense. I usually wear something once or twice and then hang it up with the other pieces that I covet, but dare not wear out.

Rocksbox subscription service sounds like a great solution to getting cute and stylish jewelry monthly. With your membership you take a short survey about your style, check out pretty pieces and add them to your wish list. Every month you’ll receive three awesome pieces to wear (on loan).

You also get $10 in your Shine Spend account which you can use towards any piece that you decide to keep for good and purchase. Any pieces you don’t really like (enough to purchase them) you return back for free. All the while you are encouraged to refer your friends to get additional credits toward future purchases.

It’s an easy and fun way to add new pieces to your wardrobe… even if it’s temporarily. You can try out new pieces that perhaps you wouldn’t have selected if you were shopping in the store. By subscribing you get the freedom of experimenting with your style, with no commitment if you don’t want to. However, if you love it all, you can purchase it all. That sounds like a win-win to me.

GaptoothDiva Rocksbox Review

My first box came in fairly quickly and I could not wait to open it. I wanted to wear the three pieces selected for me in various ways. Each piece was interesting in their own way, and adding it to the outfits I already have, was extremely easy. I have a review for each piece below, but the overall service is awesome.

Perry Street Amelie Crystal Necklace and Sophie Harper Pave X Ring in Silver

I absolutely loved the Perry Street Amelie Crystal Necklace, which was the ultimate statement piece. I love big intricate pieces like this necklace, and loved how this coordinated nicely with several outfits in my closet. The weight of the necklace made it comfortable to wear, however it didn’t feel so delicate that I thought I would break it. That’s a concern for me, because I’m always on the go, looking cute, and still managing to interact with my boys. I didn’t have to worry about accidentally breaking the necklace or snagging it on anything when little Dash decided he wants to jump on mommy. It is very pretty and how especially like the crystal setting and how it glows in the sunlight. This was definitely my favorite piece in the entire box.

Perry Street Amelie Crystal Necklace GaptoothDiva in Rocksbox

The Sophie Harper Pave X Ring in Silver was my second favorite. It was a simple piece that I thought could glam up any outfit. The ring looks great on, and I’m usually not into a ring that isn’t large, gaudy, and bold. If it doesn’t make a statement, I usually don’t even bother. However, this pretty ring had intricate details and I love the structure of the “X” on my finger, which gave the impression that I had two interlocking rings on at the same time. I will say that it’s easy to forget that you’re wearing it (I don’t think that’s a good thing), but I love the chic and simple appeal.

The Sophie Harper Pave X Ring in Silver GaptoothDiva in Rocksbox

I wasn’t really feeling the Margaret Elizabeth Mini Cushion Cut Drops in Labradorite earring set. It wasn’t my style at all. Considering I selected a few awesome pairs of earrings on the Rocksbox website that I did for my wish list, I was a little surprised to find these earrings in my first box. I couldn’t even pretend to like them just for a picture, because my hair was so big and luxurious. My big curl hairdo was hiding the small set and I was worried about losing them in the curliness of my ‘fro.  Eventually I got very frustrated, so I placed them back in the box immediately.

Margaret Elizabeth Mini Cushion Cut Drops in Labradorite earring set

How it works

Sign up to be a Shine Insider

Take the style survey and add items to your wish list

Get 3 pieces to wear on loan

Receive $10 in Shine Spend each month to apply towards a purchase

Refer your friends to receive additional credit toward buying jewelry

Not in love? Return anytime to get 3 new pieces

Free prepaid shipping both ways

Cancel at anytime

Want to try Rocksbox? Sign up now at rocksbox.com and use code: Gaptoothdivaxoxo to receive your first month free. Make sure to add pieces to your wish list, to give the stylist an idea of what you would prefer to receive.

Check out Rocksbox and follow them to see more incredible deals and new items all the time…

Twitter @myrocksbox

Instagram https://instagram.com/rocksbox

 Do You Love Stylish Jewelry? Want To Try Rocksbox?

Apply at sign up to get a special offer for only my closest friends… you!

Use the following code: i’eshabff to sign up for an awesome Rocksbox today.

High Tech 3D Printers: Can They Expand the Growth of Men’s Fashion?

Artisan Style: 3D Printers Expand the Possibilities for Men’s Fashion featured on GaptoothDiva

Fashion can be masculine or feminine, but it still tends to skew towards women’s styles. Is it because men aren’t as interested in expanding their wardrobes? Perhaps 3D printing will be the catalyst to get men more excited about their fashion choices, since it marries engineering with creative expression. Whether design teams are creating glasses from a single piece of nylon, unique men’s rings inspired by molten rock, or a new technique to extrude non-woven fabric, the science behind these designs is just as fascinating as the products themselves. Below, I’ve shared three recent developments that could change fashion for the better.  I believe these options to be the coolest and most intriguing developments in fashion and style and I can’t wait to hear what you think.

Volcanic Accessories

When Amsterdam-based designer Maria Cichy and the FreshFiber team got together to work on a 3D-printed collection called “Volcanic Rock,” they wanted to use new technology to emulate our natural world. Taking advantage of adaptable printer materials, they created a textured nylon that looks just like cooled lava rock. This style would have been much harder to create via traditional means, but 3D design software allowed the team to make highly detailed crevices and cracks. Once they figured out the textured material, it wasn’t hard to envision it being used for phone cases, unique men’s rings, belt buckles, and other accessories. Although the design methods behind “Volcanic Rock” are fairly new, the collection has a timeless feel that looks to nature for inspiration.

Artisan Style: 3D Printers Expand the Possibilities for Men’s Fashion -

 

One-Piece Eyewear

The race to create the perfect set of 3D-printed eyeglasses is well underway, with famous designers and unknown upstarts getting in on the action. One of the more promising designs comes from Hong Kong company ITUM, which has funded their MONO eyeglass project using the Kickstarter-like website Indiegogo. Available in five styles, the MONO glasses are made using one piece of brushed nylon, which twists in a “DNA joint” hinge that allows the frame to bend. Right now, the frames aren’t custom-made to fit each wearer’s face — a feature that companies like PQ Eyewear have been touting with their products — but they do come in three different sizes and multiple frame/lens color combinations. These new forays into eyewear are stylish, ultra light, and more customizable than your typical pair.

Artisan Style: 3D Printers Expand the Possibilities for Men’s Fashion -

Printed Fabric

Finally, the fashion world has seen plenty of 3D-printed designs over the past few years, but most of them haven’t been able to replicate the comfortable feel of fabric. Now, a small startup called Electroloom claims to have found the solution. Starting with a hard mold, the 3D printer sprays a liquid fiber across the entire clothing design, which then bonds together into a strong fabric. When it’s ready, the printed shirt, skirt, or hat can be removed from the mold, and it will have the same properties as cotton or polyester. Although this technology is in its infancy — the company is still in the process of getting funded — it’s a promising development for printed fabrics and the fashion industry.

Artisan Style: 3D Printers Expand the Possibilities for Men’s Fashion -

What do You Think About 3D Printing & Men’s Fashion?

Do You Think It Will Change The Way Men Shop?

Please leave a comment below and let’s start the conversation.

How to Grow your Natural Hair Long and Healthy | Pura D’or Review

How to Grow Natural Hair Long | Pura d’or Organic Argan Oil Hair Loss Prevention Review
This review is powered by Brandbacker.

Trying to grow your natural hair is never easy, no matter how many options may be out there. I’ve pretty much tried so many of them, I’m a bit frustrated. I know what grows my hair, and how my hair can grow more, but I experience so much stress with my busy schedule, it’s often a challenge.

I want to take some time to drop some simple tips on you to help you grow your natural hair long and strong. With the help of Pura d’or Hair & Body Care, I’ve been trying to grow my natural hair back after a year of stress and breakage.

Pura d’or is based on a unified mission—to create organic personal care solutions that naturally work. All of their ingredients are grown on trees, not in test tubes. Which should be especially appealing to those individuals who really care about the products they use and how it can affect their body. Pura d’or provides free shipping to anywhere in the continental U.S., and was also rated #1* in Organic Anti-Hair Loss Shampoo.

In my review, I also wanted to dish on some simple tips that assisted me in getting my hair and body healthy in order for the product to work as it should. No need in having any excuses, if I’m doing everything I should be to be not only be healthy and well inside and out, but for my hair to grow.

Healthy Long Hair Growth Tips:

Moisturize Inside and Out

  • Drink plenty of water
  • Use pure oils in your hair, such as Olive, Coconut, Shea, Avocado, Jojoba, Argan Oil
  • Do Not use mineral oil, petroleum, or lanolin
  • Use 2 drops of essential oils to massage your scalp

Healthy Eating and Exercise

  • Check for vitamin deficiencies
  • Eat plenty of veggies and fruit on a regular basis
  • How you treat your body will depend on what your body does for you

Schedule Regular Trims every 3 to 4 months or 12 to 16 weeks

  • See a professional first. Do no solely depend on YouTube, unless you are confident in your own skills.

Consider Protective Styles That Are Low Maintenance

  • Wigs, sew ins, crochet braids, and braided styles are great ways to take the stress out of regular hair maintenance
  • You still have to properly care for your hair no matter what
  • Do not get styles that are too tight on your edges and roots
  • Chill out on the heat as much as possible, stop trying to fry your hair into a certain texture

Condition Regularly

  • Condition hair at least once a month
  • Deep condition and use hot oil treatments

Wrap Your Hair Up

  • Use satin scarves and bonnets
  • Protect your edges
  • Use a clean hair scarf/bonnet and use a clean pillow case

How to Grow Natural Hair Long | Pura d’or Organic Argan Oil Hair Loss Prevention Review

Review: Pura d’or Premium Organic Argan Oil Based Hair Loss Prevention Shampoo, Premium Organic Argan Oil Based Conditioner, & Pure and Organic Argan Oil

Pros:

  • Noticeably thicker hair, so product actually does work very well
  • Feels great
  • Shampoo left my hair feeling clean and tangle free
  • Lathers up nicely
  • Large quantity
  • Conditioner left my hair feeling soft, manageable, and with more defined natural curl texture
  • Conditioner smells amazing with a very strong lavender/vanilla scent
  • Argan oil moisturized my scalp in between crochet braid styles and it also reduced scars around my hairline and on my face

Cons:

  • Packaging was extremely difficult to open
  • Pumps on the shampoo and conditioner did not work properly and were defective
  • Although price point was understandable for shampoo and conditioner (awesome actually), the organic Argan oil was not. It was a very small 1 oz. bottle that I wished was bigger. I used the Argan oil more than all of it, because it was so versatile and beneficial to my lifestyle. That would be something I would want more of in the future, therefore it should be the same size as the shampoo and conditioner.

Watch the Full Product Review below:

How to Grow Natural Hair Long | Pura d’or Organic Argan Oil Hair Loss Prevention Review

Overall, I truly enjoyed the system. I felt that it worked wonderfully for me and I see a very noticeable difference in the thickness of my hair and how it’s growing. I strongly recommend this product to anyone looking to regrow their hair or currently experiencing temporary hair loss, as this is a solution. I would however, adhere to the tips above as well. No matter how many products you purchase, nothing beats taking care of your own body and hair naturally.

For more information of Pura d’or check out the website at www.purador.com

How to Grow Natural Hair Long | Pura d’or Organic Argan Oil Hair Loss Prevention Review

Products submitted for testing purposes only. I was not compensated for this review. My opinions and review are 100% my own.

 

What Tips and Tricks Do You Have On Growing Your Hair Long and Strong?

Please comment below and let’s start the conversation.

5 Magic Ways to Get Your Mother in Law to Love You

If you are a bride-to-be or have been married for a while, you may be familiar with your husband’s mother in some way. If you’re lucky, she is either a very nice woman who respects your marriage and gets along with you at least most of the time (sort of like a second mom) or she is resting in peace somewhere. If neither of these apply to you, then you may be struggling with a mother-in-law who isn’t pleasant at all. Perhaps your mother-in-law is more like a monster-in-law, and you are literally two seconds from yanking your hair out from stress. Don’t do that, though… it’s not cute.

5 Magic Ways to Get Your Mother in Law to Love You

Dealing with a difficult mother-in-law is never easy. In a perfect world, you would be able to at least be cordial and see eye to eye for the sake of your spouse (or children). On the other hand, we don’t live in a perfect world. I know what it’s like to be in a tug of war for respect with your mother-in-law, and I can say first-hand the challenge that awaits you if you don’t learn how to stay respectful, but gain your respect as her daughter-in-law.

After over 16 years of being together and two children in, I still struggle with Mother-in-law issues very now and then. I believe there is something special about a woman who realizes that her son is in love, and instead of welcoming the young lady with open arms, she chooses to do everything in her power to make her miserable. Sometimes, it can be challenging to grit your teeth and continue smiling in your happy relationship, when all you want to do is scream. However, I’m going to give you five easy tips to get the monster… I mean mother of your darling husband, to not only like you but adore you in so many ways.

Tip #1

Be Yourself the First Time

Don’t pretend to be some innocent person who has never cursed, went without cleaning up the house, made mistakes, and blemish free; just to impress your spouse’s mother. Any real woman can see right through that, so who wants to eventually be exposed. If you want to impress her, be YOU right out of the gate. The worst case scenario, she doesn’t like you or your character. However, that’s a whole lot better than her realizing you were a fraud in the beginning, because true bonds cannot start with a lie. Start with honesty and grow from there.

Tip #2

Keep Your Business in Your Home

It’s none of anyone’s business what goes on in your home, especially NOT your mother-in-law. As much as you may want to confide in her about your relationship, finances, or personal troubles… DON’T. This will only be issues that she uses against you in the future. If you are having problems with her respecting you, telling her your problems, than being vulnerable around her isn’t going to soften her heart. No matter how she tries to play it, keep your hand close. Mind your business and keep yours to yourself. Even if she wants to call you (or your spouse, because some lonely moms do that) to gossip about her lack of sex, horrible friends, or the latest news about other family member’s, keep it short and simple. Let her know that she is welcome to come over for dinner or during the weekend, because she is less likely to gossip around the children or other family members, but don’t be her on call therapist. Mean mother-in-laws love to turn their son’s wives and girlfriends into their pet/sidekick/frienemy when it fits them… you’re better than that. Stay back.

Tip #3

Set Clear Boundaries with an Open Mind

Your mother-in-law shouldn’t just call in the middle of the night, unless something is wrong. She should not have a key to your house, unless it was something agreed upon between you and your spouse. Your mother-in-law should not be able to repeat personal conversations that you had with your husband. Nor should your mother-in-law have access to money and funds that you haven’t touched yet. She also shouldn’t think that it’s OK to yell at you, hit you, or have tantrums in front of your children. There has to be some boundaries in your relationship with your mother-in-law and your spouse. If you married a grown man, then everyone should treat him like a grown man. Your mother-in-law should not be able to treat you or your spouse like her children anymore… those days are over. That does not set a great example for your own children, if they constantly see you being chastised by their grandparent. Make it clear that your relationship and home are just that… Yours. Never allow her to impose on your privacy or life just because you want her to like you and are afraid to upset her. Don’t make your life miserable trying to impress someone else’s difficult parent. However, if you are blessed to have a very close and positive relationship with your mother-in-law, then continue to do whatever makes you comfortable. If she is helping you around the house, caring for your kids, that’s awesome. It’s beneficial for some families when the mother plays an essential role in a multi-generational home. No matter how much pride you may have, nothing beats another woman’s trusted and caring assistance in raising a family. If that your situation, count your blessings. Otherwise, keep an open mind but make those boundaries clear.

Tip #4

Never Show Fear of Standing Up For Yourself

I believe this advice applies to all types of people, but especially your mother-in-law. If she is consistently disrespectful, condescending, and manipulative… I say pray first. But then I believe it would behoove you to stay strong and stand your ground. Don’t match her drama with more drama of your own, because you run the risk of you both losing the love and respect of your spouse. Keep it classy at all times. However, explain to your spouse (not whine and complain) how challenging it is for you and how you want to keep the peace. If you genuinely want to get along with his mother, your actions must speak to that. He will eventually see who is doing what, and make moves to bring peace to his family himself. That’s what real men do. However, if after standing your ground, neither your spouse nor his mother is letting up on the misery, it may be time to reconsider your place in that weird depressing love triangle.

Tip #5

Kill Her with Kindness… until She Kills Herself

If your mother really wanted peace and harmony in the family, she would appreciate you being kind to her. Despite some mean comments and behaviors, you remain sweet and respectful to your mother-in-law, showing that you are the bigger person. Sounds awesome! However, I know many of you are like, “yeah, right! If it were only that easy.” It’s not easy at all. But it’s something you have to do. You can’t disrespect the mother of the person you love, no matter how nasty they are to you. It doesn’t look good, that you can’t show the person who brought your spouse into this world respect. It also says that you don’t want to keep peace in his family, something that should be essential to your future with your spouse. So when your monster-in-law is showing her selfish side, acting like a baby with a tantrum because her son/daughter needs to give her the attention that she has been used to their entire life, you have to keep a positive attitude and show respect. Be kind, let her know that you care and value her child, and that you will always be there for them. If you are lucky, you will eventually see that her ‘hate” for you has subsided and she realize that she has to let him be a man. However, if you are not so lucky, your spouse will have to realize that his/her happiness is not a priority to their mother and they will treat her accordingly. Either way, you get rid of a problem with the just the cost of being nice. Sounds like a bargain to me.

“You can’t expect respect and love from anyone else, if you haven’t first developed a love and respect for yourself.”

Tweet: “You can’t expect respect and love from anyone else, if you haven’t first developed a love and respect for yourself.” - http://ctt.ec/tklch+

Ok, so maybe these tips won’t necessarily make her adore you, but hopefully this will bring you to a mutual understanding. The goal is to bring peace to your family, keep your spouse happy and stress free, while still maintaining a mutually respectful and loving relationship with his mother. It can be done, but it takes work. It’s up to you to be the bigger person sometimes, and do something different. I would walk into it fearlessly knowing that what’s meant to be is already yours.

The truth is, there is really nothing you can do to make your mother-in-law like, you, love you, or even treat you right. There are just some moms in the world, that aren’t ready or are uncomfortable that their sons may marry a strong, opinionated, and independent women. Perhaps it reminds them of themselves or the lack thereof. Often times, by you just loving her son and being in a happy relationship with him, it reminds her of what she doesn’t have and how lonely she is. It’s not your man’s fault (unless he isn’t speaking up about the disrespect and lines being crossed), so you shouldn’t take it out on him.

Side Note: You ever notice some women with husbands and long-term relationships don’t spend too much time worrying about their kid’s relationships, when they children grow up? They’re too busy keeping their own man happy and tending to their own households. Just an observation.

Check out my Video Vlog of a Recent Experience I Had of My Own:

Note the fact, that we all have problems from time to time with our very own loved ones. There are no perfect people. I believe that as long as we continue to encourage each other and remain transparent, eventually we will all come to some compromise.

When Your Mother in Law Hates You | GaptoothDiva Life Vlog

Your responsibility is to continue to be a good woman to your man, responsible, honest and drama-free. If you maintain that level head and a cool attitude, a smart man would see that it’s not you and deal with it accordingly. Often times, you’ll find yourself being baited into arguments and tedious spats, and that’s because your mother-in-law is bored and lonely. Don’t take the bait! Show the person you love that you are capable of not allowing the behavior of his/her family members affect you to the point that it becomes detrimental to your relationship.

It’s never easy dealing with your spouse’s family, if they are mean and disrespectful. Nevertheless, your love for your spouse is far more important than someone you’re not sleeping, creating a family, or paying bills with, any day…. Period.

GTD Lip Logo (clear Background)

 

How do you deal with issues with your Mother-in-Law?

Please comment below and let’s start the conversation.